Existential well being

Western culture focuses on happiness although human beings look for a sense in life, for which they are willing to sacrifice happiness. 

Our society highly values materialism which causes prosperity diseases and a diminution of happiness and preaches perfectionism which causes a focus on lacks instead of positive aspects. 

We need to let go of the fixed idea of a perfect life to be able to experience existential reality. Existential well being increases when we create an environment that values natural talents in stead of demanding the unrealisable.

Subjective wellbeing is based on the hedonist approach of satisfaction and happiness whilst eudaimonia focuses on the goal in life and self realisation. 

Professor in psychology Mia Leijssen describes existential wellbeing as playing with the dimensions of existence. Empathy, autonomy, freedom of choice and meaningful connections with others are crucial elements of existential meaning. 

Leijssens work emphasizes the role of love, that benefits the social, physical, personal and spiritual dimensions of existence, which are essential for existential well being.(Leijssen 2013)

Love influences health. Human beings are naturally directed towards others, towards being appreciated and loved. 

We can not survive without others: we need to mean something to them. The harmonious combination of love and knowledge enables people to deal with situations in an appropriate way.

Gratitude, joy and wonder are mostly experienced in life threatening situations or during negative experiences. Gratitude, the attitude of feeling blessed, is closely connected to appreciation, the cognitive recognition of value. 

The personal dimension:

Loving, friendly, non critical self reflection is present in the personal dimension of authentic self knowledge. Compassion and self acceptation lead to forgivingness and optimism in case of difficulties. 

A sense of inferiority is the main threat of self respect. 

The basis of each healing process is self love, the cultivation of positive feelings towards oneself. Self love is a condition for authentic love towards others and the exploration of the world. 

Provided that one reflects and accepts oneself, it is possible to feel lonely in a positive way, in contrast with the intrapersonal loneliness characterized by self alienation and dependence of others' judgment.

The social dimension:

The social dimension concerns the non judgmental connection with others.

Empathy is a bare necessity in the social dimension in order to experience authentic attachment relationships and to accomplish a healthy development. Compassion, between empathy and altruism, is essential to feel others' situations with the intent to help.

The physical dimension:

The physical dimension contains elements as the love for the body, nature, vitality and comfort. A healthy eating pattern, exercise and the acknowledgment of the boundaries of the body are useful to feel good.

The spiritual dimension:

The soulful spiritual dimension is characterized by life questions and values as truth and wisdom. The dimension helps us to see our individual existence in a broad context to surpass self interest.

Wise individuals are marked by empathy, emotional concern, listening skills, self knowledge, the realisation of one's limitations, righteousness, tolerance,  a non selfish life orientation, insights in human interactions, openness towards new experiences and values aimed at insight, personal development and social engagement.

A peaceful mind is able to stop constant thought, to observe signals without any judgment. Existential well being is to be found and accomplished in human hope and buoyancy. 

It all starts with love. Time to reflect and ask yourself how you love in life.

http://ppw.kuleuven.be/home/onderzoek/klip/medewerkers/leijssen/mia-leijssen

Free course in existential wellbeing:

https://www.edx.org/course/existential-well-being-counseling-person-kuleuvenx-ewbcx

Virtues

What a man CAN be, he MUST be: reflections on self- actualization

Ann Timmermans

Happiness is in there, only to be found internally as it is a state of mind. Instead of blaming others or trying to change the world around us, we should change our minds to develop a positive mental condition. True happiness and complete independence are results of self-realization, of psychological growth and maturation.

( Guru ft Roy Ayers: Take a look at yourself: "Step back, analyze and use your own eyes to see. I can't be you, you can't be me. For your problems you can't blame no one else.")

Introspection( from Latin intro spicere: to look within), the technique of self-observing and examining inner activities, of reflecting on your memories, emotions and thoughts is the indispensable chief psychological method of learning about and of recognizing conscious and non- conscious mental processes. Briefly the key to knowing the true self. 

(Black Star K.O.S: "We keep it balanced with that knowledge of self determination. Knowledge of self is like life after death with that you never worry about your last breath. At exactly which point do you start to realize that life without knowledge is death in disguise. Knowledge of self determination. Stand in Ovation, cause you put the hue in human. Cause and effect, effect everything you do and that's why I got love in the face of hate") .

Self-reflection leads to better future actions and motivates to live up to one's own internal standards. 

( A Tribe called Quest The Remedy: Q Tip: "We all got different things we got to deal with. Sometimes I think people always want to put the blame on something else instead of looking at ourselves. But if we look within ourselves, we can prevent a lot of this nonsense sometimes. It's about relating back to the essence".)

The humanistic movement believed that humans are unique individuals who should be recognized and treated as such.

American humanistic psychologists Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers developed and emphasized the psychological concept of self-actualization, which is a process of growing and developing as a person to fully use and exploit talents, to maximize individual potential, to become actually what one is potentially.

According to Rogers people evaluate experiences as positive if they enhance self-actualization and tend to seek these positive experiences.

Maslow described self-actualization as: " A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be at peace with his self. What a man CAN be, he MUST be". 

(Aloe Blacc: I'm beautiful: I'm gonna be the best me that I know how to be)

He believed that self-actualization is not just a human capacity but the highest human need in a hierarchy of needs. A hierarchy of five classes of needs( physiological needs, safety, belongingness and love, esteem and self-actualization) influence human behaviour.

As most people are preoccupied with what they do not have( deficiency orientation), Maslow advised to focus on what they do have(growth orientation). This orientation opens the door to personality growth and peak experiences, inspiring moments of intense joy, love, understanding and ecstasy. 

Maslow's The Farther Reaches of Human Nature( 1971) describes the eight ways in which individuals self-actualize.

1. Concentration: to experience fully, vividly, selflessly.

2. Growth choices: each decision is a choice of growth, to open yourself to
    new and challenging experiences

3. self-awareness: self-consciousness: know yourself. Take responsibility for
    your own negative mood, recognize feelings. Give a direction to your own
    development

4. Honesty: essential elements in self-actualizing are honesty and taking
    responsibilities for your actions

5. Judgment: follow your instincts

6. self-development: use your abilities and intelligence

7. peak experiences: think, act, feel clearly and accurately, more loving and
    accepting of others

8. lack of ego defences: drop them when appropriate

Self-actualized people have accurate realistic perceptions of themselves and the world around them, are motivated to help others. They tend to be open, unconventional and spontaneous, have a philosophical sense of humour and form very deep ties with only a few people. They need their independence and privacy. Self-fulfilled individuals have a childlike and fresh creativity and inventiveness.

Bear in mind that self-actualization is a never-ending process of making potential real. Try to see life clearly, utilize your capacities joyfully. Even simple experiences will be sources of inspiration and pleasure.

(Jurassic Five: Work it out: " Now if I know what I know you need to work it out. If you ain't happy with yourself you need to work it out.")

Article written by Ann Timmermans